Wednesday, September 21, 2005

date aftermath

she wasn't a teeny bopper after all, and her interests did show some intersection with mine. i was hoping to score a nice dowry and close the deal, but it turns out she's a progressive indian woman, and a christian, so i'll have to keep my job.

here's a breakdown of indian women as perceived by indian men, as far as i can tell. keep in mind that i'm an ignoramus. i will stick to the tried and true baseball metaphors for male/female interaction, adding a few new ones:

batters box - meeting with a girl with the idea of evaluating compatibility, e.g. a first date
signing the contract - getting married
losing the game - ending up anywhere from miserable to resigned
winning the game - ending up anywhere from happy to in love
traded - breaking up

old fashioned country girl

signing the contract -> home run -> lose by 10 runs

traditional woman

batters box -> signing the contract -> home run -> lose by 5 runs

modern woman

batters box -> first base -> signing the contract -> home run -> possible win, but likely loss

trashy

batters box -> first base -> second base -> signing the contract -> home run -> win or lose by a small margin

slut

batters box -> first base -> second base -> third base -> signing the contract -> home run -> win or lose

whore

batters box -> first base -> second base -> third base -> home run -> signed or traded

this is why alomst all western women are considered to be whores. i suspect my date is either modern or trashy.

4 comments:

You know who I am said...

Congrats on you posting the most awaited post!

Anonymous said...

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Dennis said...

i suspect my date is either modern or trashy.

So after muddling through that complicated analogy, I take it that this mean you almost got to 2nd base? Over sweater (or Indian equiv.) action?

steyock said...

no, i only meant that i thought she might be a person one might get to second base with pre-marriage. as far as my status with her... well, i would never kiss and blog.