Wednesday, July 06, 2005

fat, snotty, pale & lazy

a few weeks ago i was bronzed and trim and healthy.

but sitting in front of a computer all day changes all of that--fast. my tan is gone. almost no exercise and too many carbs are causing an alarming gut expansion. and i've been suffering with allergies that are making me sneezey and sluggish. turns out bangalore is the allergy capital of india.

i need to find some way to reverse all of this. wooing the indian ladies is difficult enough as an outsider without adding the gut and the snot. though maybe being pale is an advantage.

solutions? low carb eating isn't feasible. the gym is too far away. plus my ankle still isn't really exercise ready.

i figured constant bouts of food poisoning and other gut related maladies would keep me trim, but so far i've had it easy. in fact, except for one ultra-spicy food related incident, my bowels have been better behaved here than at home. go figure.

ugh. i think i've said too much.


james said...

no, no, please elaborate more on your bowel movements down to microscopic details.

emphatican said...

To reverse the trend, try the method that works for the stars: stick your finger down your throat after a meal. Then you can eat as much as you like.