most asian countries that even bother with stoplights, treat "green" as go, "yellow" as go fast, and "red" as go but look around a bit and ride your horn. in yangon, the lights go from green->flashing green(yellow coming soon)->yellow->red. what's amazing is that people stop on flashing green. i have never seen anyone run a yellow light here. which brings me to my point. there's definitely a sinsister side to the clean, quiet, orderly streets of yangon. you get the feeling that people don't run the yellow light because they don't DARE.
today i visited the palace in mandalay. i had my name and passport info written down by 3 different people in the palace complex. i was confronted with multiple signs telling me where i was not allowed to go. a banner hung outside the palace that no true patriot would subvert the will of the union, or some such thing. occasionally even, the locals grumble quietly to me about their situation. but it is always done quietly, and usually only after heavy drinking.
speaking of which, burma makes a supurb scotch whiskey. who would have guessed? and for about $1.50 a bottle no less.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Saturday, February 11, 2006
burmese daze
whatd'ya know... i can use blogger in burma. there are even tricks for accessing gmail.
so i was poisoned on the train from varanasi to gaya the day before my flight to burma. i somehow made it through the train and plane trips, each of which was several hours late. this is particularly impressive for a 2 hour flight. at least air india upgraded me to first class for free. anyway, i am still sick, spending a large part of each day and night purging my body of poisons. i get 4 or 5 hour reprieves, making me think i'm completely better, then it comes back. ugh.
the contrast from india to burma is striking. everyone here is quiet and mild mannered. there are no auto-rickshaws or motorbikes allowed on the squeaky clean streets of yangon. no one uses their horns. even though i'm sick, i'm quite happy to be here.
more later
so i was poisoned on the train from varanasi to gaya the day before my flight to burma. i somehow made it through the train and plane trips, each of which was several hours late. this is particularly impressive for a 2 hour flight. at least air india upgraded me to first class for free. anyway, i am still sick, spending a large part of each day and night purging my body of poisons. i get 4 or 5 hour reprieves, making me think i'm completely better, then it comes back. ugh.
the contrast from india to burma is striking. everyone here is quiet and mild mannered. there are no auto-rickshaws or motorbikes allowed on the squeaky clean streets of yangon. no one uses their horns. even though i'm sick, i'm quite happy to be here.
more later
Monday, February 06, 2006
burma bound
blogger is messed up. i can't post anything without it overwriting the previous post. i have two posts queued up that aren't taking. anyway, i'm heading to burma on thursday. like china, they may well block this site and even email sites. so if you can't reach me at my gmail account, it doesn't necessarily mean i'm dead. i might be switching back to ball of dirt, assuming they don't block that as well.
also, internet access will be much spottier (and pricier) in burma, so my already lackluster posting volume may get even worse...
also, internet access will be much spottier (and pricier) in burma, so my already lackluster posting volume may get even worse...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
the beauty and the beasts
the taj mahal would easily be my most high profile stop since leaving home almost one year ago. it did not disappoint, even though i paid about $18 to get in (as opposed to the 50 cents or so that indians pay) and you can't even enter the taj itself (except for one darkened room). so essentially, you pay $18 to look at a building from the outside. but it is just so epic, that you feel satisfied anyway.
unfortunately the taj mahal is surrounded by agra, the worst place i have been in india. a filthy city filled with liars and cheats and the dregs of humanity. i suppose they flock here because so many newbie tourists come to agra as a near first stop in india (delhi is too big to have tourists to swindle in a concentrated form--though there are still plenty of swindlers here too). my guidebook goes so far as to suggest i don't eat in an agra restaurant they don't recommend because i might be poisoned as part of an insurance billing scam. walking down the street you are approached constantly by scammer after scammer. there's the "game scam" and the "drug scam" and the "gem scam" and even a the "scam scam" where a guy warns you about all the scams and then insinuates that this good karma he's generated means you will certainly buy things from him. if you take a auto-rickshaw or cycle-rickshaw to avoid the scamers encountered while on foot, you will be hounded by said rickshaw driver to take part in whatever his scam is, and if you don't you'll be harassed to pay more than the agreed upon fare. out of the 5 or so rickshaw rides i took, about 4 of them ended in fight of some kind. and when you fight, indians flock around you in droves to "arbitrate" or just gawk. it's all so tiring after the first few times. even the city is involved in scams. the ticket price itself is a scam, as the money would supposedly go to taj maintenance and restoration but instead lines officials' pockets. but there's more. i bought my taj ticket, and was surprised to see that it entitled me to "free entry" to 4 other monuments around town. hooray i thought, and i hired a rickshaw to take me around. it turns out, my entrance is free, but i still have to pay the tax. for foreigners, this works out to not paying 10 rupees "entrance" but still paying 100 rupees tax. so you end up paying 100 rupees instead of 110. thanks agra, you bastards. but it's not just me. i met a college student on the train to delhi who asked me what i thought of his hometown of 20 years. i hesitantly hinted that agra wasn't my favorite place in the world and he launched into an anti-agra tirade. we bonded over this.
in general, the north is beginning wear on me. so many people approaching with "friendly conversation" designed to lead you into some sort of bilking. in the rest of asia, i shrug off the touts and scammers with smiles and jokes, but this doesn't really work so well here. here i have to stare people down and order them to go away. sometimes i even have to get a bit physical. today buying a train ticket, i actually grabbed a queue cutter and moved him back behind me. his ego bruised slightly, he strutted a bit, but there was nothing behind it. others in line were surprised but impressed and gave me the thumbs up. perhaps india has cured me of my natural shyness.
unfortunately the taj mahal is surrounded by agra, the worst place i have been in india. a filthy city filled with liars and cheats and the dregs of humanity. i suppose they flock here because so many newbie tourists come to agra as a near first stop in india (delhi is too big to have tourists to swindle in a concentrated form--though there are still plenty of swindlers here too). my guidebook goes so far as to suggest i don't eat in an agra restaurant they don't recommend because i might be poisoned as part of an insurance billing scam. walking down the street you are approached constantly by scammer after scammer. there's the "game scam" and the "drug scam" and the "gem scam" and even a the "scam scam" where a guy warns you about all the scams and then insinuates that this good karma he's generated means you will certainly buy things from him. if you take a auto-rickshaw or cycle-rickshaw to avoid the scamers encountered while on foot, you will be hounded by said rickshaw driver to take part in whatever his scam is, and if you don't you'll be harassed to pay more than the agreed upon fare. out of the 5 or so rickshaw rides i took, about 4 of them ended in fight of some kind. and when you fight, indians flock around you in droves to "arbitrate" or just gawk. it's all so tiring after the first few times. even the city is involved in scams. the ticket price itself is a scam, as the money would supposedly go to taj maintenance and restoration but instead lines officials' pockets. but there's more. i bought my taj ticket, and was surprised to see that it entitled me to "free entry" to 4 other monuments around town. hooray i thought, and i hired a rickshaw to take me around. it turns out, my entrance is free, but i still have to pay the tax. for foreigners, this works out to not paying 10 rupees "entrance" but still paying 100 rupees tax. so you end up paying 100 rupees instead of 110. thanks agra, you bastards. but it's not just me. i met a college student on the train to delhi who asked me what i thought of his hometown of 20 years. i hesitantly hinted that agra wasn't my favorite place in the world and he launched into an anti-agra tirade. we bonded over this.
in general, the north is beginning wear on me. so many people approaching with "friendly conversation" designed to lead you into some sort of bilking. in the rest of asia, i shrug off the touts and scammers with smiles and jokes, but this doesn't really work so well here. here i have to stare people down and order them to go away. sometimes i even have to get a bit physical. today buying a train ticket, i actually grabbed a queue cutter and moved him back behind me. his ego bruised slightly, he strutted a bit, but there was nothing behind it. others in line were surprised but impressed and gave me the thumbs up. perhaps india has cured me of my natural shyness.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
rajasthani whirlwind
it has been a busy week plus running around rajasthan. i have explored several massive and nearly pristine 500+ year old forts (really palaces in hilltop fortress settings). i have done puja for my friends and family along the ghats of the holy city of pushkar. i have ridden a loathesome camel deep into the thar desert and slept under the stars. i have even (legally) explored the twisted pathways of my own mind using supplies from a government authorized bhang shop.
the pace is breakneck, but i've only got 10 days til i fly to burma, and there's still so much to see...
the pace is breakneck, but i've only got 10 days til i fly to burma, and there's still so much to see...
Saturday, January 21, 2006
tragedy
well, it finally happened. my camera is gone. i had it, then i didn't. i don't know what happened. if it was stolen, i don't know how it was stolen. more likely i did something stupid.
i only lost my ahmedabad pictures (which i am quite sad about) and a few hours of udiapur, so it could have been worse.
i was forced to buy an inferior camera for more money than my original camera. india is a terrible place to buy electronics. high tariffs i think.
going now to file a police report (so i can make an insurance claim). that should be fun. i wonder how much i'll have to pay them for the priviledge. then i'll need to work on getting undepressed.
i only lost my ahmedabad pictures (which i am quite sad about) and a few hours of udiapur, so it could have been worse.
i was forced to buy an inferior camera for more money than my original camera. india is a terrible place to buy electronics. high tariffs i think.
going now to file a police report (so i can make an insurance claim). that should be fun. i wonder how much i'll have to pay them for the priviledge. then i'll need to work on getting undepressed.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
my rockstar moment
i flew kingfisher airlines to ahmedabad, in the state of gujarat, just south of rajasthan. kingfisher is the most popular beer in india, and the beer baron who runs it recently started a "luxury-economy" airline (that doesn't, by the way, serve beer). i wouldn't feel great about flying budweiser airlines at home, as i don't associate great piloting with shitty beer, but i was strangely pleased to be on kingfisher. anyway, the idea of the airline is that you get singapore airlines style service with southwest airlines style prices. for the 3 hour flight, i ate 2 delicious lunches and received oodles of complementary gifts. the seat next to me was even empty. the entire experience was so much better than flying in the us. rumor has it that the boss recruited stewardesses from the pool of slutty "bar girls" who lost their jobs during recent govt crackdowns, but i was not offered a lap dance or any sort of mile-high club membership. this would be my only complaint.
my first task, after getting my $4.40 hotel room with hot water and cable tv (and slightly soiled sheets), was to head for the train station and book my onward ticket to udiapur. at the station, i met a group of travelers desperate to leave the place. they were horrified that they had to wait 8 hours for a train. i suggested they store their bags with the stationmaster and spend the time seeing the city. they complained that the city is unpleasant and there is nothing to see. true, my guidebook did mention that the overcrowded city is one of the 10 most polluted in the world, and suggested covering one's mouth with a rag while walking around, but it still indicated that there was a lot to see. as i waited and waited and waited to book my ticket at the "speedy" tourist window, i talked to another guy who was upset that he couldn't get the seat he wanted and would be "stuck" here for another day. after all of that i decided i'd book a seat out thursday night instead of friday.
all of these people were morons. i walked out of the train station with my ticket and got lost in the crowded streets. there were no tourists. there were no touts. even the beggars didn't know what to do with me. there were lots and lots of smiles and hellos and handshakes. this is probably because there were no tourists or western faces. none. everywhere there were amazing old crumbling buildings, stunning 600 year old city gateways and mosques (this is a very muslim city) and bustling markets. arcitectually, this was the closest i had come to the india i had imagined. perhaps this is how things look all over the north?
today was even more amazing.
i headed for the 600 year old step wells in the morning. step wells sound boring, but they aren't. these go 5 stories underground, are ornately decorated, and surprisingly spooky. bats would actually graze my head as i entered darkened stairwells and pushed aside cobwebs.
after finishing exploring, i went in search of another nearby well. the locals stared. even the dogs and cows seemed surprised to see me. an old man started walking with me. he was going to show me where the second well was. i assumed this would be another attempt to extract a few rupees backsheesh, but what're you gonna do? we went to the well, which doubles as a hindu temple, and was far less impressive than the first. he asked me if i wanted to get tea. oh god, here it comes. he led me down a narrow but bright and homey alleyway, where the locals sat in front of their homes and went about their business. they were all shocked to see me of course. my voice was starting to get hoarse from all the hellos. i thought we were going to a tea stall but we ended up entering a house. the whole family was there. i met the man's daughters and their kids. at first i was a bit nervous. my guidebook details scams that involve poisoning tourists and so on, so i was on high alert. but interacting with the family it was becoming clear to me that this was the real thing. they brought me tea and then lunch! i took pictures of the family. it was all very nice and they were very hospitable and never asked for a single rupee. i left happy and with a full stomach.
i walked in search of the textile museum, hoping to make it before the lunchtime closing. yeah, i know, textiles? who f*%king cares? but my guidebook claims it's the one "must see" in ahmedabad, and perhaps the best textile museum in the world, so i figure i'd better find out why. along the way, i'm approached by kids. then more kids. i am peppered with questions. everyone wants to touch me. i'm serious. i'm surrounded. adults show up. kids want their pictures taken. i take them. then everyone wants to see the picture on my camera. there's lots of pushing. a few mafia types show up and i believe asked for 150 rupees for the pictures. i laughed in their faces. but they were minor characters in the story. most people were friendly, but the friendliness was morphing into something slightly ugly. as if i were a rock star that the people wanted a piece of. the mob grew. a few guys appointed themselves my bodyguards and helped me push forward. the mob filled the street now, and blocked traffic. things were getting insane. a man hopped in an auto-rickshaw and plowed through the crowd toward me. he told me to jump in. i did. hands prodded me as we sped off and i waved my goodbyes to the mob. whew.
on a smaller scale, this happened repeatedly throught the day, especially where kids were around. i found that i basically couldn't take pictures on the street, as this seems to cause exponential mob growth.
back to the rugs. so the textile museum was closed when i got there, as the auto driver and seemingly everyone else in town didn't have a clue where this world class museum was. i had an hour and a half to kill. i met a young guy outside who gave me a free ride on his motorbike to another museum nearby. then he took me to a temple. then he bought me tea. then he bought me pan (that beetlenut-wrapped-in-a-leaf concoction that most tourists are afraid of). then we met his friends. finally he took me back to the textile museum and said he'd probably come back in two hours when i was done! i hoped that i could sneak past him, because all of this hospitality was starting to kill me. also, he had a habit of spitting in my face when he talked.
it's weird--the entrace to the textile museum is restricted to only 15 people, you get a 2 hour guided tour, and it's free. everything in this town is free. i have no idea why. i snuck out a few minutes early--i was falling asleep from looking at rugs. i avoided my spitting friend. still feel kinda bad about that. did a bunch more stuff later. saw lots of old impressive mosques. more impressive building facades. and more mini-mobs.
i often meet other travelers who tell me that they never have positive experiences with locals... that all overtures of friendship or interest are a rouse to get you to part with your money. it must be that these people stay firmly on the tourist trail, because one day in ahmedabad completely obliterated this theory... i was so overwhelmed by hospitality i was literally fleeing from it.
my first task, after getting my $4.40 hotel room with hot water and cable tv (and slightly soiled sheets), was to head for the train station and book my onward ticket to udiapur. at the station, i met a group of travelers desperate to leave the place. they were horrified that they had to wait 8 hours for a train. i suggested they store their bags with the stationmaster and spend the time seeing the city. they complained that the city is unpleasant and there is nothing to see. true, my guidebook did mention that the overcrowded city is one of the 10 most polluted in the world, and suggested covering one's mouth with a rag while walking around, but it still indicated that there was a lot to see. as i waited and waited and waited to book my ticket at the "speedy" tourist window, i talked to another guy who was upset that he couldn't get the seat he wanted and would be "stuck" here for another day. after all of that i decided i'd book a seat out thursday night instead of friday.
all of these people were morons. i walked out of the train station with my ticket and got lost in the crowded streets. there were no tourists. there were no touts. even the beggars didn't know what to do with me. there were lots and lots of smiles and hellos and handshakes. this is probably because there were no tourists or western faces. none. everywhere there were amazing old crumbling buildings, stunning 600 year old city gateways and mosques (this is a very muslim city) and bustling markets. arcitectually, this was the closest i had come to the india i had imagined. perhaps this is how things look all over the north?
today was even more amazing.
i headed for the 600 year old step wells in the morning. step wells sound boring, but they aren't. these go 5 stories underground, are ornately decorated, and surprisingly spooky. bats would actually graze my head as i entered darkened stairwells and pushed aside cobwebs.
after finishing exploring, i went in search of another nearby well. the locals stared. even the dogs and cows seemed surprised to see me. an old man started walking with me. he was going to show me where the second well was. i assumed this would be another attempt to extract a few rupees backsheesh, but what're you gonna do? we went to the well, which doubles as a hindu temple, and was far less impressive than the first. he asked me if i wanted to get tea. oh god, here it comes. he led me down a narrow but bright and homey alleyway, where the locals sat in front of their homes and went about their business. they were all shocked to see me of course. my voice was starting to get hoarse from all the hellos. i thought we were going to a tea stall but we ended up entering a house. the whole family was there. i met the man's daughters and their kids. at first i was a bit nervous. my guidebook details scams that involve poisoning tourists and so on, so i was on high alert. but interacting with the family it was becoming clear to me that this was the real thing. they brought me tea and then lunch! i took pictures of the family. it was all very nice and they were very hospitable and never asked for a single rupee. i left happy and with a full stomach.
i walked in search of the textile museum, hoping to make it before the lunchtime closing. yeah, i know, textiles? who f*%king cares? but my guidebook claims it's the one "must see" in ahmedabad, and perhaps the best textile museum in the world, so i figure i'd better find out why. along the way, i'm approached by kids. then more kids. i am peppered with questions. everyone wants to touch me. i'm serious. i'm surrounded. adults show up. kids want their pictures taken. i take them. then everyone wants to see the picture on my camera. there's lots of pushing. a few mafia types show up and i believe asked for 150 rupees for the pictures. i laughed in their faces. but they were minor characters in the story. most people were friendly, but the friendliness was morphing into something slightly ugly. as if i were a rock star that the people wanted a piece of. the mob grew. a few guys appointed themselves my bodyguards and helped me push forward. the mob filled the street now, and blocked traffic. things were getting insane. a man hopped in an auto-rickshaw and plowed through the crowd toward me. he told me to jump in. i did. hands prodded me as we sped off and i waved my goodbyes to the mob. whew.
on a smaller scale, this happened repeatedly throught the day, especially where kids were around. i found that i basically couldn't take pictures on the street, as this seems to cause exponential mob growth.
back to the rugs. so the textile museum was closed when i got there, as the auto driver and seemingly everyone else in town didn't have a clue where this world class museum was. i had an hour and a half to kill. i met a young guy outside who gave me a free ride on his motorbike to another museum nearby. then he took me to a temple. then he bought me tea. then he bought me pan (that beetlenut-wrapped-in-a-leaf concoction that most tourists are afraid of). then we met his friends. finally he took me back to the textile museum and said he'd probably come back in two hours when i was done! i hoped that i could sneak past him, because all of this hospitality was starting to kill me. also, he had a habit of spitting in my face when he talked.
it's weird--the entrace to the textile museum is restricted to only 15 people, you get a 2 hour guided tour, and it's free. everything in this town is free. i have no idea why. i snuck out a few minutes early--i was falling asleep from looking at rugs. i avoided my spitting friend. still feel kinda bad about that. did a bunch more stuff later. saw lots of old impressive mosques. more impressive building facades. and more mini-mobs.
i often meet other travelers who tell me that they never have positive experiences with locals... that all overtures of friendship or interest are a rouse to get you to part with your money. it must be that these people stay firmly on the tourist trail, because one day in ahmedabad completely obliterated this theory... i was so overwhelmed by hospitality i was literally fleeing from it.
Monday, January 16, 2006
home away from home
i'm back in bangalore. this is my 4th and final day here. i've been cozying up with the girlfriend, visiting the doctor for my latest malady, and planning the next leg of my journey from the office. it's nice to have a familiar base of operations.
a long time ago, it had crossed my mind to do this in every country. i figured i could hook up with a girlfriend in each country i visited, and perhaps marry the top 3 (i didn't want to stretch myself too thin) and start families. i had rose in china, phoung in vietnam, and juan in laos (yes, juan is a woman). i never found a candidate in malaysia/singapore, but i was a cripple then, and chicks don't dig cripples.
what stopped me? who can say for sure. perhaps marrying a woman willing to trade sex for financial security seemed somehow unappealing to me. perhaps i'm not a bigamist at heart. after all, it's a big step to go from 0 to 3 wives, just like that.
my girlfriend here is not of this ilk, lest anyone think otherwise. she is a proper girlfriend, mostly, though her head is filled with ridiculous notions.
last night, she explained to me that american english is trash. that the queen's english is the only proper english. i explained that american english is largely the result of removing the dopey and/or gay things from british english. for example, all of those superfluous u's in words like 'colour'--we, sensibly, got rid of them. she had a counter-example. she said said the brits say 'give me', while the proper american word, apparently used by american authors and listed in american dictionaries is 'gimme', proving what animals we are. i have no idea where she gets these ludicrous notions, but she gets them regularly. i responed by pawing her and insisting she 'gimme a big kiss with them purty lips of [hers]'. she was overcome by a mix of shock and embarassment, though i'm sure she secretly likes it. i horrify her like this on a regular basis, which is a big reason i enjoy being with her. you practially have to offer up a surprise cleveland steamer to shock a woman back home.
on to my current health problem--in kerala one morning i noticed pus oozing from my eye (actually a guy i met on a ferry pointed it out to me). icky. my diagnosis: eye infection. 2 days later, my ear hurt. my diagnosis: ear infection. hmm. at this rate soon my entire head would be one big infection. so i went to the doctor where i happened to be: varkala, a smallish beach town. surely the doctor, with his experience and skills and his fancy ear-o-scope (or whatever it is they call that thing) would be able to figure out the problem and fix me up.
the hospital staff were shocked to see the white man. i got the vip treatment, catapulting ahead of the waiting masses. or this is how it appeared to me. i felt bad about this, but not bad enough to protest. i wan't looking forward to the invasive ear exam, but my fears were misplaced. the doctor whipped out a massive silver eveready flashlight whose D cells were obviously nearly dead, and directed the "beam" aka mood lighting into my ear. he parroted back my suggestion that i had an ear infection. he sent me across the street to the eye doctor, who looked at my eye with a flashlight that might have been even worse. i doubt my pupils even budged. he concurred: "infection". for good measure, he had me read some letters off the wall to make sure i hadn't gone blind and wasn't telling him.
the two doctors got together with me and gave me 2 kinds of pills and two kinds of drops (ear & eye) and insisted that i must not swim. great. here i was at varkala beach, with nothing to do but swim, and now i wasn't able to do that.
my ear pain got worse, then better with the antibiotics. i arrived in bangalore and a day later my hearing went out in the infected ear, and a day after that the pain returned. today i went to a doctor, who, by contrast to the kerala doctor shoved a stick deep into my ear (though it felt like he may have hit brain). ouch. he removed the stick, looked at it as if checking a car's oil level, and pronounced: "infection". he then shoved the invasive ear-o-scope in there and determined that my ear drum was punctured. I wanted to ask "before or after you shoved that stick in there?" but i held my tongue. he told me it's likely the puncture will heal within 10 days and my hearing will return to normal. if not, my drum will need to be "patched". god forbid. he also pointed out that any drops i put in my ear will pass though the hole in the drum and run down my throat. so apparently i have been drinking ear drops for the past few days. yumm.
finally, i've been planning the next stops on my trip. at last i am venturing north. i'm flying to ahmedabad tomorrow, a jumping off point to rajasthan, home to so many of the touristy must-sees. i will make my way east to agra (taj mahal) and dehli and beyond until i reach bihar, the wild west of india, where a man will kill another man for 20 rupees, or a woman for 10. here i will catch a flight to burma, assuming the military junta running the place lets me in. or at least this is the plan du jour. what happens after that is unclear.
a long time ago, it had crossed my mind to do this in every country. i figured i could hook up with a girlfriend in each country i visited, and perhaps marry the top 3 (i didn't want to stretch myself too thin) and start families. i had rose in china, phoung in vietnam, and juan in laos (yes, juan is a woman). i never found a candidate in malaysia/singapore, but i was a cripple then, and chicks don't dig cripples.
what stopped me? who can say for sure. perhaps marrying a woman willing to trade sex for financial security seemed somehow unappealing to me. perhaps i'm not a bigamist at heart. after all, it's a big step to go from 0 to 3 wives, just like that.
my girlfriend here is not of this ilk, lest anyone think otherwise. she is a proper girlfriend, mostly, though her head is filled with ridiculous notions.
last night, she explained to me that american english is trash. that the queen's english is the only proper english. i explained that american english is largely the result of removing the dopey and/or gay things from british english. for example, all of those superfluous u's in words like 'colour'--we, sensibly, got rid of them. she had a counter-example. she said said the brits say 'give me', while the proper american word, apparently used by american authors and listed in american dictionaries is 'gimme', proving what animals we are. i have no idea where she gets these ludicrous notions, but she gets them regularly. i responed by pawing her and insisting she 'gimme a big kiss with them purty lips of [hers]'. she was overcome by a mix of shock and embarassment, though i'm sure she secretly likes it. i horrify her like this on a regular basis, which is a big reason i enjoy being with her. you practially have to offer up a surprise cleveland steamer to shock a woman back home.
on to my current health problem--in kerala one morning i noticed pus oozing from my eye (actually a guy i met on a ferry pointed it out to me). icky. my diagnosis: eye infection. 2 days later, my ear hurt. my diagnosis: ear infection. hmm. at this rate soon my entire head would be one big infection. so i went to the doctor where i happened to be: varkala, a smallish beach town. surely the doctor, with his experience and skills and his fancy ear-o-scope (or whatever it is they call that thing) would be able to figure out the problem and fix me up.
the hospital staff were shocked to see the white man. i got the vip treatment, catapulting ahead of the waiting masses. or this is how it appeared to me. i felt bad about this, but not bad enough to protest. i wan't looking forward to the invasive ear exam, but my fears were misplaced. the doctor whipped out a massive silver eveready flashlight whose D cells were obviously nearly dead, and directed the "beam" aka mood lighting into my ear. he parroted back my suggestion that i had an ear infection. he sent me across the street to the eye doctor, who looked at my eye with a flashlight that might have been even worse. i doubt my pupils even budged. he concurred: "infection". for good measure, he had me read some letters off the wall to make sure i hadn't gone blind and wasn't telling him.
the two doctors got together with me and gave me 2 kinds of pills and two kinds of drops (ear & eye) and insisted that i must not swim. great. here i was at varkala beach, with nothing to do but swim, and now i wasn't able to do that.
my ear pain got worse, then better with the antibiotics. i arrived in bangalore and a day later my hearing went out in the infected ear, and a day after that the pain returned. today i went to a doctor, who, by contrast to the kerala doctor shoved a stick deep into my ear (though it felt like he may have hit brain). ouch. he removed the stick, looked at it as if checking a car's oil level, and pronounced: "infection". he then shoved the invasive ear-o-scope in there and determined that my ear drum was punctured. I wanted to ask "before or after you shoved that stick in there?" but i held my tongue. he told me it's likely the puncture will heal within 10 days and my hearing will return to normal. if not, my drum will need to be "patched". god forbid. he also pointed out that any drops i put in my ear will pass though the hole in the drum and run down my throat. so apparently i have been drinking ear drops for the past few days. yumm.
finally, i've been planning the next stops on my trip. at last i am venturing north. i'm flying to ahmedabad tomorrow, a jumping off point to rajasthan, home to so many of the touristy must-sees. i will make my way east to agra (taj mahal) and dehli and beyond until i reach bihar, the wild west of india, where a man will kill another man for 20 rupees, or a woman for 10. here i will catch a flight to burma, assuming the military junta running the place lets me in. or at least this is the plan du jour. what happens after that is unclear.
Monday, January 09, 2006
commies for christ
everywhere i look in kerala i see jesus. no, i haven't been born again. rather this just seems to be a very christian state, and combined with the indian penchant for idolatry, this means lots and lots of jesus images, especially on buses. in fact, jesus was blocking my views of some spectactular scenery as my bus left the hill station of munnar the other day. i forgave him.
kerala is also a big communist stronghold. lots of hammer and sickle flags flying everywhere. makes sense--jesus was essentially a communist as far as i've understood it, rather than the supply-side jesus worshipped back home.
perhaps this combination explains why the locals rarely try to rip me off here. even auto-rickshaw drivers often start me at the correct price. far fewer beggars here as well. the state however has doubled the prices of all things touristy recently. now instead of paying 15 times what the locals pay, i have to pay 30 times. it's a little ridiculous. i even boycotted a few of the national parks.
that what i'm NOT doing here. i'd tell you what i AM doing, but i'm out of time.
kerala is also a big communist stronghold. lots of hammer and sickle flags flying everywhere. makes sense--jesus was essentially a communist as far as i've understood it, rather than the supply-side jesus worshipped back home.
perhaps this combination explains why the locals rarely try to rip me off here. even auto-rickshaw drivers often start me at the correct price. far fewer beggars here as well. the state however has doubled the prices of all things touristy recently. now instead of paying 15 times what the locals pay, i have to pay 30 times. it's a little ridiculous. i even boycotted a few of the national parks.
that what i'm NOT doing here. i'd tell you what i AM doing, but i'm out of time.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
kerala
I'm in my 4th indian state, and "god's own country", kerala. after 2 days, i have yet to find god here, but the place is pleasant enough.
but first, a bit about goa. it was the fiasco i predicted. actually it was even worse than i thought. traveling in a group of 8-20 (depending upon the day) is difficult in the best circumstances, but intolerable when your companions are scatterbrained and/or selfish. plenty (but not all) of my companions showed both traits. the fiasco started in bangalore, where B had one less bus ticket than people who showed up. some attempts were made so assign blame. someone (not me) ended up sleeping in the aisle. i could prattle on with other problems for pages, but wont. at least not now.
though i will mention that the much ballyhooed goan new years was mostly hype. it takes hours to drive the 8km to the "party centers", so we never even ended up going. but i met people who did who described paying $30 or more to enter nightclubs mostly filled with rich tourists from bombay who have come largly to leer at foreigners. and strangely, in this capital of anything-goes hedonism, not once was i offered drugs, which is very very weird. 2 days in "conservative" kerala and i've been offered everything on multiple occasions. i guess the goan drug dealers had their hands full.
but it wasn't all bad by any means. a highlight of goa was the largely vacant beaches in the far north, where i swam with the dolphins and schools of flying fish. in the heart of goa you swim with tourists. lots and lots of them. and a lot of them are fat italian men wearing thong bikinis. i saw more hairy butt/back in one week than anyone should have to see in their entire lives.
motorcycling around goa was also nice, though often the roads were unpleasantly crowded. i drove a large geared bike for the first time. i enjoyed it so much, i'm considering buying a bike and traveling through india that way. especially since my 8am bus to munnar never showed up this morning. hopefully the 11am will. i'd better go check on that now. more on kerala later...
(i'm cheating by posting this here. "outcaste" should be retired now, as the blog premise has changed, but i'm too lazy to make a change just yet.)
but first, a bit about goa. it was the fiasco i predicted. actually it was even worse than i thought. traveling in a group of 8-20 (depending upon the day) is difficult in the best circumstances, but intolerable when your companions are scatterbrained and/or selfish. plenty (but not all) of my companions showed both traits. the fiasco started in bangalore, where B had one less bus ticket than people who showed up. some attempts were made so assign blame. someone (not me) ended up sleeping in the aisle. i could prattle on with other problems for pages, but wont. at least not now.
though i will mention that the much ballyhooed goan new years was mostly hype. it takes hours to drive the 8km to the "party centers", so we never even ended up going. but i met people who did who described paying $30 or more to enter nightclubs mostly filled with rich tourists from bombay who have come largly to leer at foreigners. and strangely, in this capital of anything-goes hedonism, not once was i offered drugs, which is very very weird. 2 days in "conservative" kerala and i've been offered everything on multiple occasions. i guess the goan drug dealers had their hands full.
but it wasn't all bad by any means. a highlight of goa was the largely vacant beaches in the far north, where i swam with the dolphins and schools of flying fish. in the heart of goa you swim with tourists. lots and lots of them. and a lot of them are fat italian men wearing thong bikinis. i saw more hairy butt/back in one week than anyone should have to see in their entire lives.
motorcycling around goa was also nice, though often the roads were unpleasantly crowded. i drove a large geared bike for the first time. i enjoyed it so much, i'm considering buying a bike and traveling through india that way. especially since my 8am bus to munnar never showed up this morning. hopefully the 11am will. i'd better go check on that now. more on kerala later...
(i'm cheating by posting this here. "outcaste" should be retired now, as the blog premise has changed, but i'm too lazy to make a change just yet.)
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
the end, almost
sorry the blog has been quiet--i've been desperately trying to finish up work, pack up my apartment and say all of my goodbyes. tomorrow i say goodbye to bangalore and head to goa for the holidays. if i return here at all, it will be as a tourist.
3 weeks ago i was lamenting my departure. my circle of friends was at its peak, after successfully ejecting the losers that B and V and the others seem to allow into the group occasionally. i'd tried to encourage quality over quantity, and it finally seemed to be sinking in. bangalore itself seemed "nicer". after 5 months of overcast skies and rain, the sun finally began to shine unemcumbered. i hadn't realized how much i'd missed it. my routine was good. my maid would wake me up every morning with a friendly smile and would clean around me as i groggily watched the bbc news. on the way to the office, the familiar street urchins shouted their "hello uncle"s. i'd watch the latest episode of "family guy" at the office, and go to lunch with my office friends. i'd go to my usual evening haunts with the non-work gang where we'd be treated like vips, no longer paying the cover charges other people would. my girlfriend was even starting to behave semi-reasonably. i liked my routine and my friends.
i should have left on that high.
after returning from sri lanka, it all went to hell. this week has been weird, in an ugly way. i'm not a violent person, and i can generally tolerate a lot of poor behavior and still keep my cool. but this week i came close to punching people in the face out of sheer rage. on more than one occasion. and that doesn't even include the drunk guy in my apartment who repeatedly challenged me to fight until the floor finally punched him in the head when he passed out. when i get some time in goa, i'll elaborate.
the upside to all of this is that suddenly i'm looking forward to hitting the road again, though i need to get through this goa thing first. i'm giving goa an 80% chance of achieving fiasco status. we have an apartment for 8 days with beds/matresses for 10 people, yet for some reason B has allowed 23 people to stay for the last 3 days heading into the new year. i don't know if they know they will be sleeping on the floor, assuming there's even floor space for them. maybe i'll just get on my motorbike (i'll rent one in goa) and disappear...
3 weeks ago i was lamenting my departure. my circle of friends was at its peak, after successfully ejecting the losers that B and V and the others seem to allow into the group occasionally. i'd tried to encourage quality over quantity, and it finally seemed to be sinking in. bangalore itself seemed "nicer". after 5 months of overcast skies and rain, the sun finally began to shine unemcumbered. i hadn't realized how much i'd missed it. my routine was good. my maid would wake me up every morning with a friendly smile and would clean around me as i groggily watched the bbc news. on the way to the office, the familiar street urchins shouted their "hello uncle"s. i'd watch the latest episode of "family guy" at the office, and go to lunch with my office friends. i'd go to my usual evening haunts with the non-work gang where we'd be treated like vips, no longer paying the cover charges other people would. my girlfriend was even starting to behave semi-reasonably. i liked my routine and my friends.
i should have left on that high.
after returning from sri lanka, it all went to hell. this week has been weird, in an ugly way. i'm not a violent person, and i can generally tolerate a lot of poor behavior and still keep my cool. but this week i came close to punching people in the face out of sheer rage. on more than one occasion. and that doesn't even include the drunk guy in my apartment who repeatedly challenged me to fight until the floor finally punched him in the head when he passed out. when i get some time in goa, i'll elaborate.
the upside to all of this is that suddenly i'm looking forward to hitting the road again, though i need to get through this goa thing first. i'm giving goa an 80% chance of achieving fiasco status. we have an apartment for 8 days with beds/matresses for 10 people, yet for some reason B has allowed 23 people to stay for the last 3 days heading into the new year. i don't know if they know they will be sleeping on the floor, assuming there's even floor space for them. maybe i'll just get on my motorbike (i'll rent one in goa) and disappear...
Thursday, December 15, 2005
back to bangalore
i fly back from sri lanka tonight.
sri lanka sucks. do not come here. i will explain later.
sri lanka sucks. do not come here. i will explain later.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
a very special thanksgiving blog entry
very occasionally i get a wee bit nastolgic for home. and as the holidays approach, this feeling is ratched up a bit. sure, everyone loves a good deepvali festival, but sometimes you have to return to your roots. being an american, i could not help but want to celebrate that most american of holidays, thanksgiving. for my no doubt vast audience of international readers, let me explain the holiday: we "give thanks" for all we have, not though good deeds or quiet introspection or even fasting, but instead by quite ironcially eating as much as we possibly can. the culinary focus is on a generally dry and not-all-that-tasty giant bird whose meat contains a sleep inducing chemical. we spend our last moments of consciousness further stuffing ourselves with something actually called stuffing, along with mashed potatoes & gravy, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie, at a minimum.
strangely enough, i decided i wanted to participate in this bizzare tradition here in bangalore. I contacted J, my american friend at infosys, and my mexican-american upstairs neigbors, E & L. J brought a bunch of other americans with him, most of whom suck. we all headed to a place called "the only place" which, appropriately, is just about the only place in india where you can get a proper (or mostly proper) thanksgiving dinner. not only that, it's around the corner from where i live.
i don't really have much to say about the dinner, as it was pretty boring. we were limited in our turkey and stuffing and cranberry log, but a bunch of other sides were available buffet style in unlimited quantities, so the desired stuporous effect could be more or less achieved, though afterwards it felt wrong that i wasn't sitting in a big cushy chair watching a painfully boring detroit lions football game.
but even if bad football were available, the evening would still have amounted to little more than a turkey dinner. it turns out thanksgiving just isn't thanksgiving without family around.
that was, and will be, my one-and-only "touching holiday moment" in the blog. that is, unless i get loaded in goa on christmas day and stumble into an internet cafe. which, from what i hear about goa, is not only possible, but probable.
strangely enough, i decided i wanted to participate in this bizzare tradition here in bangalore. I contacted J, my american friend at infosys, and my mexican-american upstairs neigbors, E & L. J brought a bunch of other americans with him, most of whom suck. we all headed to a place called "the only place" which, appropriately, is just about the only place in india where you can get a proper (or mostly proper) thanksgiving dinner. not only that, it's around the corner from where i live.
i don't really have much to say about the dinner, as it was pretty boring. we were limited in our turkey and stuffing and cranberry log, but a bunch of other sides were available buffet style in unlimited quantities, so the desired stuporous effect could be more or less achieved, though afterwards it felt wrong that i wasn't sitting in a big cushy chair watching a painfully boring detroit lions football game.
but even if bad football were available, the evening would still have amounted to little more than a turkey dinner. it turns out thanksgiving just isn't thanksgiving without family around.
that was, and will be, my one-and-only "touching holiday moment" in the blog. that is, unless i get loaded in goa on christmas day and stumble into an internet cafe. which, from what i hear about goa, is not only possible, but probable.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
where's the corruption when you need it?
my visa extension has been rejected! sometime in the last year they apparently changed the rules. back then, no problem. now, i need a 1 year or longer visa to extend it here at the state level. but because mine is only 6 months, i would have to go to delhi and endure the mother of all bureaucracies, with no guarantee of success. no thanks. the policy makes no sense, but no one expects it to, except for the occasional silly foreigner.
to make matters worse i had to hire an agent (actually my company did), who i had to accompany in line at the commissioner's office, only to learn that this sort of extension is never allowed. why couldn't my agent simply have learned this on his own? why did the agent give me a different story earlier? i wonder what this level of uselessness costs.
and before you ask, yes, we tried offering to pay "special fees", but apparently this is something even a bribe can't fix.
so instead i'll fly to sri lanka sometime before dec 8th and get a brand new 6 month multiple entry tourist visa. should be simple enough. right?
speaking of bribes, i was in my girlfriend's car a few nights ago (as passenger) and a cop pulled us over on a trumped up charge. this not being my country, i thought it best to let her do the talking at first, as i contemplated how i should best approach the situation should things degrade and the cop decide to run us in. playing the foreigner card would definitely come in handy here, should i need it. as i ran though different, mostly 'midnight express-ish' scenarios, they argued over whether there was any sort of offense at all. i certainly didn't see one, and if there was then everyone around us was committing the same. but this wasn't helping to resolve anything. so she went in for the helpless teary eyed female bit. she also threw in that she was showing around a tourist (me), and what must he think of this country? this approach was effective, and the "fine" was negotiated down to 100 rupees ($2 and change). of course he neglected to fill out any paperwork. i was excited to finally be part of a police bribe in india. and i was impressed and somewhat frightened by my girlfriend's effective manipulation.
to make matters worse i had to hire an agent (actually my company did), who i had to accompany in line at the commissioner's office, only to learn that this sort of extension is never allowed. why couldn't my agent simply have learned this on his own? why did the agent give me a different story earlier? i wonder what this level of uselessness costs.
and before you ask, yes, we tried offering to pay "special fees", but apparently this is something even a bribe can't fix.
so instead i'll fly to sri lanka sometime before dec 8th and get a brand new 6 month multiple entry tourist visa. should be simple enough. right?
speaking of bribes, i was in my girlfriend's car a few nights ago (as passenger) and a cop pulled us over on a trumped up charge. this not being my country, i thought it best to let her do the talking at first, as i contemplated how i should best approach the situation should things degrade and the cop decide to run us in. playing the foreigner card would definitely come in handy here, should i need it. as i ran though different, mostly 'midnight express-ish' scenarios, they argued over whether there was any sort of offense at all. i certainly didn't see one, and if there was then everyone around us was committing the same. but this wasn't helping to resolve anything. so she went in for the helpless teary eyed female bit. she also threw in that she was showing around a tourist (me), and what must he think of this country? this approach was effective, and the "fine" was negotiated down to 100 rupees ($2 and change). of course he neglected to fill out any paperwork. i was excited to finally be part of a police bribe in india. and i was impressed and somewhat frightened by my girlfriend's effective manipulation.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
visa trouble
yes, i *am* alive and healthy.
why i've been too busy/lazy to update:
Reason 1:
i'm embroiled in visa extension woes. my visa expires dec 8th.
here's what i need to extend:
1) take myself to the police station and register
2) fill out registration form
3) registration certificate x4
4) copy of passport with visa page x3
5) passport photos x5
6) copy of terms and conditions of business x3
7) letter of business addressed to the FRO by the business firm about duration of business x3
8) IT (income tax) Returns of the business firm for the previous year x3
9) financial guarantee affidavit issued by business firm on a government document sheet attested by notary x2
10) proof of local residence x2 (a rental agreement showing my length of stay on special (i.e. expensive) govt paper, plus police go to your home to confirm.)
It makes one nostalgic for US bureaucracy.
Unfortunately I haven't finished any of these steps, because the local official tells me my visa is "out of order". apparently the bangkok embassy did not list name of the company i'm visiting on the visa. the embassy, which i have called, faxed and emailed on numerous occasions, claims they don't list the name on the 6 month business visa as a matter of course. they don't seem to want to send me a document the authorities here have asked me for. we've hired a local "agent" to help grease the wheels.
if this doesn't work out, i'll have to hop on a plane to sri lanka for a brand new visa. i suppose there could be worse places to have to go. though that would make my planned week in kerala far less likely to happen.
Reason 2:
absurd socializing. the usual ridiculous all night parties with 22 year olds. it wears on you.
recently "the great indian octoberfest" was thrown into the mix. india has a lot to learn about beer drinking festivals, as these stats prove:
Number of different beers available: 1
Sizes available: 1 - tiny
Month OCTOBERfest was held: November
Number of people visibly drunk: 0
though i did enjoy the indian heavy metal band covering Dream Theater songs.
Reason 3:
work. yes, i work.
Reason 4:
the gf. she's become increasingly demanding of my time. but i know exactly how to entertain her (unusual for me). either (1) let her talk, (2) take her to a bad movie, or (3) do both at the same time. it works out. i hate the movies she likes, so when she talks over them i don't care.
in general she has terrible taste in movies, music, books and tv. i have told her this, and she thinks the same about me, so it's ok. and it has its advantages. suppose i want to buy her a dvd. what to get? i merely ask myself, "were i tortured at Abu Ghraib, what dvd would rumsfeld force me to watch again and again while lindsey england points at my genitals?" duh. "charles in charge, season 1." i buy it, she loves it. no guesswork.
why i've been too busy/lazy to update:
Reason 1:
i'm embroiled in visa extension woes. my visa expires dec 8th.
here's what i need to extend:
1) take myself to the police station and register
2) fill out registration form
3) registration certificate x4
4) copy of passport with visa page x3
5) passport photos x5
6) copy of terms and conditions of business x3
7) letter of business addressed to the FRO by the business firm about duration of business x3
8) IT (income tax) Returns of the business firm for the previous year x3
9) financial guarantee affidavit issued by business firm on a government document sheet attested by notary x2
10) proof of local residence x2 (a rental agreement showing my length of stay on special (i.e. expensive) govt paper, plus police go to your home to confirm.)
It makes one nostalgic for US bureaucracy.
Unfortunately I haven't finished any of these steps, because the local official tells me my visa is "out of order". apparently the bangkok embassy did not list name of the company i'm visiting on the visa. the embassy, which i have called, faxed and emailed on numerous occasions, claims they don't list the name on the 6 month business visa as a matter of course. they don't seem to want to send me a document the authorities here have asked me for. we've hired a local "agent" to help grease the wheels.
if this doesn't work out, i'll have to hop on a plane to sri lanka for a brand new visa. i suppose there could be worse places to have to go. though that would make my planned week in kerala far less likely to happen.
Reason 2:
absurd socializing. the usual ridiculous all night parties with 22 year olds. it wears on you.
recently "the great indian octoberfest" was thrown into the mix. india has a lot to learn about beer drinking festivals, as these stats prove:
Number of different beers available: 1
Sizes available: 1 - tiny
Month OCTOBERfest was held: November
Number of people visibly drunk: 0
though i did enjoy the indian heavy metal band covering Dream Theater songs.
Reason 3:
work. yes, i work.
Reason 4:
the gf. she's become increasingly demanding of my time. but i know exactly how to entertain her (unusual for me). either (1) let her talk, (2) take her to a bad movie, or (3) do both at the same time. it works out. i hate the movies she likes, so when she talks over them i don't care.
in general she has terrible taste in movies, music, books and tv. i have told her this, and she thinks the same about me, so it's ok. and it has its advantages. suppose i want to buy her a dvd. what to get? i merely ask myself, "were i tortured at Abu Ghraib, what dvd would rumsfeld force me to watch again and again while lindsey england points at my genitals?" duh. "charles in charge, season 1." i buy it, she loves it. no guesswork.
Friday, November 04, 2005
virus #9
after dewali, my latest virus got worse. still, i managed to make it to work by wednesday evening. i walked out onto the office balcony to view the fireworks bursting around the city. but all of that standing really took its toll. by the time i made it back to my desk, my vision had started to go. blind spots had developed. i couldn't read a piece of paper in front of my face.
a few years ago this sort of thing would have sent me into a mild or maybe even major panic. but not now. not after all of the strange illnesses and symptoms i've experienced in asia. in fact, this is the second time i've had this particular problem. i sat there and waited for it to go away while i chatted with a partially visible co-worker, pretending nothing was wrong. it went away after a few minutes, but i decided it best to hitch a motorcycle ride to the pharmacy for supplies, then rest at home.
thursday i never managed to leave the house. i took the strange drugs i got at the pharmacy, guessing at proper dosages.
today is better.
a few years ago this sort of thing would have sent me into a mild or maybe even major panic. but not now. not after all of the strange illnesses and symptoms i've experienced in asia. in fact, this is the second time i've had this particular problem. i sat there and waited for it to go away while i chatted with a partially visible co-worker, pretending nothing was wrong. it went away after a few minutes, but i decided it best to hitch a motorcycle ride to the pharmacy for supplies, then rest at home.
thursday i never managed to leave the house. i took the strange drugs i got at the pharmacy, guessing at proper dosages.
today is better.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
dewali
well, i got sick again, but i popped some pills and headed into the bowels of koramangala for dewali. our host's suv navigated the dark unpaved streets, expertly dodging the missles and bombs exploding all around us.
our hostess, R, is an uncoventional indian, who i had never seen in a sari until last night. her mother, father and brother were also clearly very unconventional--there was a hippie vibe to all of them--but we were nonetheless were treated to a traditional dewali. after some homemade wine, we had puja, and then a tasty traditional south indian vegetarian dinner. just as we were about to go out and blow up our "crackers", the rains came. so instead we headed upstairs for a jam session with electric guitar, bass and bongos.
as midnight rolled around and the rains continued, we realized there would be no easy way to get home, so festivities continued until 5am, at which point the rains subsided and R insisted we blow up hitler in front of a much hated neighbor's house. i became the voice of reason--(1) we would be waking up the entire neighborhood, including her parents, and (2) we might be caught. but R continued her cajoling. i was about to cave when her parents arrived. whew! we dodged a bullet--they would have surely caught us and been horrified by our irresponsible behavior in front of their home. or not. R told her mom about her plan, and much to all of our surprise she became its biggest proponent! that was all i needed. we headed out into the dark, wet, muddy and now utterly silent streets where we shooed away the stray dogs and set up hitler where he was sure to wreak the most havoc. it began to drizzle. for some reason i was forced to do the deed (and no doubt the time if we were caught). i lit hitler. we all ran, giggling like children. we looked back expectantly. nothing happened. hitler was a dud. that nazi bastard.
unfortunately there was no time for another attempt, as R had to pick up a friend at the airport, so we all found our way home, vowing to make up for our "crakerless" dewali at a later date.
our hostess, R, is an uncoventional indian, who i had never seen in a sari until last night. her mother, father and brother were also clearly very unconventional--there was a hippie vibe to all of them--but we were nonetheless were treated to a traditional dewali. after some homemade wine, we had puja, and then a tasty traditional south indian vegetarian dinner. just as we were about to go out and blow up our "crackers", the rains came. so instead we headed upstairs for a jam session with electric guitar, bass and bongos.
as midnight rolled around and the rains continued, we realized there would be no easy way to get home, so festivities continued until 5am, at which point the rains subsided and R insisted we blow up hitler in front of a much hated neighbor's house. i became the voice of reason--(1) we would be waking up the entire neighborhood, including her parents, and (2) we might be caught. but R continued her cajoling. i was about to cave when her parents arrived. whew! we dodged a bullet--they would have surely caught us and been horrified by our irresponsible behavior in front of their home. or not. R told her mom about her plan, and much to all of our surprise she became its biggest proponent! that was all i needed. we headed out into the dark, wet, muddy and now utterly silent streets where we shooed away the stray dogs and set up hitler where he was sure to wreak the most havoc. it began to drizzle. for some reason i was forced to do the deed (and no doubt the time if we were caught). i lit hitler. we all ran, giggling like children. we looked back expectantly. nothing happened. hitler was a dud. that nazi bastard.
unfortunately there was no time for another attempt, as R had to pick up a friend at the airport, so we all found our way home, vowing to make up for our "crakerless" dewali at a later date.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
happy deepawali, diwali, kali puja, festival of lights, and kannada rajyothsava (and halloween too)
some of those are different names for the same thing, and some are distinct festivals. i'm starting to think these festivals (and all of hinduism for that matter) are purposefully complex to keep the white man from understanding, adopting, and then finally corrupting them. but they underestimate me. tonight i'm skipping over understanding & adopting and moving right to the corrupting. i'm headed to an indian friend's house with a bunch of fireworks and sweets for some traditional diwali mayhem.
fireworks in california (in the few communities you can still legally get them) are "safe and sane". this means they suck.
fireworks here (known as "crackers") are insane. in every conceivable sense:
it is entirely unclear what will happen when i light der fuhrer. but i am very afraid.
fireworks in california (in the few communities you can still legally get them) are "safe and sane". this means they suck.
fireworks here (known as "crackers") are insane. in every conceivable sense:
it is entirely unclear what will happen when i light der fuhrer. but i am very afraid.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
everyone loves disaster pics
a few bangalore photos
the flood both giveth and taketh away
my favorite stat:
over 1000 street cows dead.
these aren't my photos. thanks to the anonymous photographers...
the flood both giveth and taketh away
my favorite stat:
over 1000 street cows dead.
these aren't my photos. thanks to the anonymous photographers...
Monday, October 24, 2005
they're on to me
some guys at the office have found my blog simply via strategic googling. i'd always thought i'd be protected by the vastness of the internet/blogosphere.
if the people i've been socializing with find it i'll be run out of town. especially now that i'm running into the "my ridiculous teenage party" crowd and their circle of friends on a regular basis. perhaps it's time to make some edits. or i could just sit back and wait for the coming disaster. all of this socializing goes against my surly and aloof nature anyway. it's getting to be exhausting. this weekend was pretty much one continuous party, culminating last night in, of all things, karaoke. yeah, that's how far i am from where i should be. and this wasn't just any karaoke--this was hipster karaoke. imagine an exclusive new york club frequented by fashion models--the kind of place that would never let me in. now replace all the kate mosses and cocaine with fashionable indians and a karaoke machine. it sounds weird, but it worked, somehow.
if the people i've been socializing with find it i'll be run out of town. especially now that i'm running into the "my ridiculous teenage party" crowd and their circle of friends on a regular basis. perhaps it's time to make some edits. or i could just sit back and wait for the coming disaster. all of this socializing goes against my surly and aloof nature anyway. it's getting to be exhausting. this weekend was pretty much one continuous party, culminating last night in, of all things, karaoke. yeah, that's how far i am from where i should be. and this wasn't just any karaoke--this was hipster karaoke. imagine an exclusive new york club frequented by fashion models--the kind of place that would never let me in. now replace all the kate mosses and cocaine with fashionable indians and a karaoke machine. it sounds weird, but it worked, somehow.
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